Saturday, April 12, 2008

My favorite crazy commercials

Quizno's - Spongmonkeys

That's right - spongmonkeys. Like judgment. No e. I got over it.
Anyway, these commercials were absolutely hilarious when they briefly aired in 2003. Some boring people with no lives or senses of humor complained and they got taken down. And replaced with this. Take that, squares!


Kia - Maniac

I actually made everybody in the room shut up when this came on, watched it intently, and then burst out laughing. It remains my favorite commercial to date.


Skittles - Singing Rabbit and Pinata Man

Skittles has certainly cornered the market on craazy commercials!


This one is more recent, (like I first saw it one month ago) but it definitely made me guffaw.


Vern Fonk Insurance - Every Commercial Ever

But I'll just give you one for your consideration.


Starburst - Berries and Cream

Just... just... wow.
How do they come up with these things?


Honda - Accord

Abso-freaking-lutely incredible. All one take, took 606 tries to get it.


Mitsubishi - Eclipse

Not really a crazy commercial - I just liked it. Can't embed it, so here's the link.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cM3cZfC0lk0


Saturday, April 5, 2008

Awesome Music Video!

80's style!

A-ha - Take On Me

Who knows what that means, really? Oh well - I love this song, Yoda-speak and all. Partly because of the amazing music video, and partly because the guy can hit higher notes than I can. That's talent. Also, it may just be me, but the lead singer is considerably hotter drawn than in real life.


Thursday, March 6, 2008

The 10 Best TV Show Opening Sequences

...as voted by me. I know that it's trendy these days to have only a quick flash of the title before getting straight to the action (Lost, 24, Heroes, Pushing Daisies), and God knows I appreciate it. But sometimes we need to recognize a really good title sequence. So here are the best I've seen so far.


10. Ghost Whisperer Season 1
      I actually don't really like this show very much. I find it sort of, oh, I don't know... kitschy, cliched, whatever, but the opening sequence caught my eye. I'm not sure why, but I suppose it's the mildly creepy antique look of it. As far as I'm concerned, though, they can drop the bit at the end where she turns and looks solemnly at the audience. That's just tired and overdone.


9. Naruto: Shippuden Opening 1
      Yup, it's an anime. What can I say? I'm a nerd. But this one gets a special mention because anime openings are usually pretty crappy - at least by American taste. All J-pop and mangled engrish (is that a double negative?) and stuff. Take this earlier open for the same show, for example. In comparison, this one is great! And we reward improvements, right? Right.



8. Angel
    To be honest, the editing and filming for this is just okay. No, what got it on my list was the cello, pure and simple. It wins its spot by having the best music.



7. Invader Zim
     Just.... just cool. That's all. I want it as a ringtone.



6. The Office
     Who hasn't seen it? It's catchy and hilarious, and would also make a great ringtone. Come to think of it, pretty much all of the ones to come would be good. By the way, the clip was IMPOSSIBLE to find, so NBC must be cutting a swathe through all the main video streaming sites and getting rid of it for some reason (I don't know why; it's just the intro and there were clips from the show still up) so you'll have to make do with the closest I can find, which is the intro slightly recut by a fan. I hope you appreciate it.



5. Arrested Development
    The song is cool (and sticks with you) and hey, you get to find out what the show is about, too! It's unique enough to fit the show's feel exactly. 
But hey, remember the trouble I had finding a clip for The Office? Of course you do - it was like 30 seconds ago! Jeez... anyway, I couldn't find the clip at all... stupid television execs. First you cancel a perfectly good show, and then you troll the internetz taking down all the clips from it...freaking nazis, that's what you are! This is bloody stupid. Well, in revenge, I will give you these links. Use this knowledge wisely. I hope you ruin their day.
Keep in mind that these websites don't always work, and they sometimes have faulty links. It's worth a try, though!



4. Cowboy Bebop
      Surprise! Another anime! This one doesn't get kudos for improvement, though. It started great. It looks like it's roughly based on the openings of Saul Bass, who was a famous animator and did the opening credits of movies like Psycho, North By Northwest, and Spartacus.



3. Dead Like Me
      A dearly departed show, which was great and was cancelled before its time... anyway, the opening catches the tone of the show exactly, poking fun at the concept of a grim reaper living a normal life, with laundromats and xeroxes and everything.



2. Weeds
      I've never actually seen the show, just the open, but I hear the show's great. The opening is, too. A good song with wry humor and just the right amount of irony.



1. Dexter
      This is, by far, the best title sequence I've ever seen - which is funny, because I usually skip over it when I watch the show. The show is about a nice, easygoing, mildmannered guy who works at the forensics lab at the Miami PD, and hey! is also a sociopathic serial killer. He has a sister and girlfriend (with kids) who all think he's just about the best, most normal guy around, as he's very good at acting the way that people expect him to. He goes about his "normal" life, but underneath it all, there's that sinister secret. The opening perfectly encompasses that. It shows him going through his morning routine - getting up, shaving, making breakfast, getting dressed - yet it's filmed and scored in such a way that it is both gruesome and frightening. It looks like a horror show, and it's really amazingly well done, which is why I don't watch it much because it makes me feel a little queasy. The show is really great, though, and I highly recommend it. Not for kids, though (in case you couldn't tell) because there's nudity and swearing and it's about a serial killer!.
Note his teeny little smile after he kills the mosquito...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tuesday Link Black Hole!

Here's a list of some awesome websites. Granted, some of them are somewhat exclusive (not everyone will like them and may think me a total nerd because I do) but they're still worth a check-out.

Blogs
Fugly Horse of the Day - a blog which is entertaining to anyone who has even the remotest interest in horses, or breeding things.
List of the Day - daily hilarity.
Your Feet Will Thank You - Honestly, a plug for a friend's blog, which is mainly about shoes but is also about other things, occasionally. It's actually quite entertaining.

Webcomics and Art
Lackadaisy Cats - This is truly one of the best webcomics I've ever seen - it's no surprise it's now being published as a book.
Ever After - Sort of a goth-y re-imagining of all the fairy tales you know and love from your childhood. Amazing artwork.
Dr. McNinja - My brother showed me this. It's freaking hilarious. That's really all you need to know. Also, I want pretty much all the T-shirts they sell.
Accio Brain - A young artist  - I think she's nineteen or twenty - who pretty much only does Harry Potter fan art. However, it's probably the best fan art you'll ever see. Definitely check out her 'funnies' page.
Chimera Pulse - art from another youngish art student. Her stuff has a backstory to it - it's all OC (original characters) and someday she's planning on making a movie (or something) about it. For now, her comic-y style art and animations are incredible.

Just Fun Stuff
Improv Everywhere - this is a group of amateur improv actors in New York - a big group - who basically gather together to do improv in places where people don't expect it. It's really cool, so I'll include a video at the bottom of the post.
Free Rice - a vocabulary game which improves your smarts while feeding starving people!
R. Tam Sessions - okay, this might not be classified as fun, per se, (at least unless you're as rabid a fan of Firefly and Serenity as I am) but it's definitely a great example of underground movie promotions on the internet. Oh, and it's not work-safe, at least not without headphones. And it's really creepy. Just so you know.
The Crazy Tom Cruise Scientology Video! - Also extremely creepy. Watch out for his craaaaazy eyes!
Don't Be Panic! - a comprehensive guide to cancer

Also - here's some vids from my YouTube favorites list!
the Improv Everywhere vid


24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot
I don't care if you watch 24 or not - if you know the premise, this is hilarity.

Pirates Vs. Ninjas

the age-old battle.

The Zimmers - 'My Generation'

Happy rockin' old people! \m/
I hope there's somthing like that for when I'm old.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bye, Heath

Goodbye, my first movie crush.
      When I saw the first headlines - "Heath Ledger Dead At 28" I thought it was some sort of sick joke. Surely he couldn't really be dead? I grew up watching him! The first R-rated movie I saw (this was a big deal for me) was the Patriot, and I cried when he died there. Now, I have no tears to shed, but I cannot help but to feel a deep melancholy. Why such despair in one so young? To take his own life - what pain he must have been feeling.
      In this sick culture, we revere our celebrities, and then, like the Aztecs, we sacrifice them on the altar of public opinion. We greedily 
devour every morsel of their lives, lingering especially on the morbid and obscene - favoring above all else that which shows them at their worst.
      I Googled Heath today to find a picture to show a Japanese friend of mine why I was feeling a bit depressed, and was sickened - but not surprised - that the most common photos to be found were a series of pictures of him completely nude, pictures taken without his knowledge by some hidden paparazzo.
     Why are these revelations met with such glee? Why devote entire magazines to these things? Who has gained weight? Who has lost weight? Who has an eating disorder? Who has a drug problem? Who's married? Who's dating? Who's cheating? Who? Who? Who? Is our sense of self-worth so very low, so depraved that we can only be glad in ourselves when those we celebrate has been exposed to have all the faults we ourselves possess, but would be mortified if other people knew?
      I don't mean this to be another LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE speech, but I wonder if people realise the rotting effect this sort of attention has on the focuses of our criticism? On one hand, they hate it as it tears away at their souls, but on the other, they become masochistically addicted to it, needing it, longing for it when it wanes until they are driven to debase themselves to be allowed to bask for a few moments more in the radioactive, toxic gleam of the public eye.
       Is it any great wonder that they find themselves driven to despair, unable to hold normal relationships with normal people? Is it any wonder that their perspective becomes drawn increasingly inward, until all that exists for them is their own selves and their misery? Is it then any wonder that so many commit that final, ultimate selfishness which is taking their own life, in desperate ignorance or jaded indifference to the pain it will cause their loved ones?
       I find the greatest tragedy in this terrible event to be not the death itself, but the horrible culture that demands its celebrated humans to take the place of God, and then slaughters them when they are unable. 

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

New Shows to Watch Rabidly!

       Surprise! The old boob tube has done it again, and has managed to come up with some actually pretty good shows this year! I'll give you a rundown of some of the best, and as an added bonus, I'll give you some old shows that are worth the DVD rental fee!

1. Burn Notice
     Okay, so it's not exactly new, per se - its pilot was last
summer. However, it was sadly overlooked for an unusually good show. It airs on USA and stars - well, probably nobody you know except Bruce Campbell (playing an ex-spy-currently-kept-man named Sam Axe, which is the awesomest name ever) and also a guy named Jeffrey Donovan whose only claim to fame is probably playing the jerkwad in Hitch -  but trust me, they make good watchin'.
     Donovan plays a Michael Westen, spy who gets fired (i.e. burned. With a burn notice. Hence the title) which for spies means 'utterly and totally screwed' since the government not only does not give you a severance package, it also freezes all your accounts and blacklists you, eliminating the chance of getting a job that pays more than minimum wage. Dumped in Florida, he has to rely on the only people who are willing to be seen with him - namely, his (insanely hot) crazy ex-IRA ex-girlfriend Fiona, good ol' washed-up Sam Axe (who's selling info on him to the Feds) and (God forbid) his more-than-a-little-psychotic family. As he pointedly points out, there's a reason he took a job where he's almost always overseas in places where no one he knows - especially not his mom - can contact him. Anyway, Michael makes a living working jobs where people need someone discrete with very specialized skills, while trying to find out who burned him and annoying the hell out of the FBI. Or CIA. I never remember which is which. 
       The show is witty and quick-paced, and even gives you cool little tidbits of spy wisdom - I have no idea if they're actual spy stuff or just something a writer though up - such as How to Figure Out If Someone Is Tailing Your Car and Lose Them If They Are, and also has this 
AWESOME scene involving some hitmen, Fiona, and a couple of Molotov Cocktails. It's definitely worth the time to check it out.
For your viewing pleasure: Bully Psychology
2. Pushing Daisies
    An ACTUAL new show, this is a smart, fantastical little comedy that plays like a happy, 
sunshine-and-roses (uh...daisies) Tim Burton film with a little touch of Dead Like Me - which is probably because it's from one of the creators of Dead Like Me. Don't know the show? Don't worry, it's at the bottom of this post.
      Lee Pace plays Ned, aka The Piemaker, who is a sweetly shy, adorable, 6'3" teddy bear of a man who can do this amazing thing with his hands - get your mind out of the gutter! I mean, when he touches a dead thing, it comes back to life. There's two catches, though. If they stay alive longer than a minute, somebody near them dies, and once Ned has zapped someone back to life, he can't touch them again or they'll die again. Permanently. While that's a good trick for staying within the one-minute limit, it sort of backfires on him with the few people he brought back to stay - his dog Digby, his mother, and his childhood sweetheart, Chuck. Chuck is a girl, by the way.
    His mother was, unfortunately, the way he discovered about the one-touch-only rule, when as a boy he was only able to bring her back to life for a day, only to have her bite the dust again when she kissed him goodnight. Incidentally, because she was alive for more than a minute, Ned's little magic trick took its toll - and killed Chuck's father.
    Skip ahead, and Ned is a grown man who has gone into business making pies, in honor of his mother, in a place called The Pie Hole. He uses rotten berries that he has brought back to life, and makes money on the side working with private detective Emerson Cod and bringing dead people back to life long enough to have them expose their murderers. This is how he meets Chuck again, having lost touch after their parents died. She has been murdered, and after he wakes her up to ask who killed her, he can't bear to kill her again. So he brings her back to live with him, and slowly they begin to fall in love, despite the considerable barrier of the no-touch rule. Also starring dimunitive Kristin Chenoweth (she played Glinda from Wicked) as Ned's infatuated employee, Olive Snook. 
    This show is at once sharp and sweet, whimsical and poignant. Their adventures are always just beyond the line of reason, and while death is never mocked, it is occasionally poked fun at. While I have been a longtime anti-shipper (I'll save my shipping rant for another day. It will include the whole "who will Kate choose????" debacle from Lost (in my opinion, she doesn't deserve Sawyer) and if you watch Avatar, I will probably go into depth about Kataang, Zutara, Tokka, Zukaang and all the stupid portmanteaus associated therein. I will also mention the whole N/C Yaoi "OTP" craze that makes me uncertain whether I should stab my eyes out or go murder someone) or at least am extremely picky about the relationships I support in media (wow, that sounds mighty pretentious) the Chuck and Ned romance is possibly the best romance TV has
 seen for ages. The plastic wrap kiss was amazing.
Olive Snook Sings

3. Samantha Who
         I have to admit, the first time I saw a promo for this show, I assumed it was just another of those stupid sitcommy average-IQ-of-40 shows where some annoying blonde agonizes over her sex life/age/personal appearance/broken nail episode after episode, surrounded by her circle of insipid friends and going through brainless, prettyboy boyfriends as fast as a chainsmoker goes through cigarettes. Not so with Samantha. Okay, she is blonde. I'll give you that. BUT - this show is surprisingly witty and even has a little wholesome message to go with it!
      Christina Applegate plays Samantha, who, in the pilot, has just woken up from an eight-day coma with no memory of who she is. A 
clean slate, if you will. And as she begins to go about figuring out who she is, she begins to realize that pre-amnesia Samantha was not a nice person at all. In fact, she was downright evil. Her only friend was Andrea the alcoholic lawyer who is nearly as bad, her boyfriend - whom she had cheated on - had broken up with her, and she had reduced her assistant to a quivering, neurotic mess. She hadn't spoken to her parents in years, and even had had a restraining order taken out against her by an ex. Mortified, New Sam tries to reorder her life and change her ways as she tries to mend relationships she destroyed as Old Sam, including re-befriending her plump school friend, Dina. She slowly regains tidbits of information as she tries to convince everyone that she's changed, although occasionally bits of Old Sam peek through and scare the crap out of her. There's also fun to be had as she rediscovers things like her phobia of elevators, her allergy to oregano and Old Sam's style of dress - such as when she pulls a tiny black minidress out of her closet and cries, horrified, "Oh my God! I have a daughter?"  
      Christina Applegate is startlingly sweet and likeable as insecure Sam, and the witty writing pops out jokes that actually make me actually laugh out loud, which does not happen often. Definitely a fun show, and you can watch free episodes on abc.com! Oh, and you can do that with Pushing Daisies, too!
Sam discovers more about Old Sam



Old Shows

     I'm not going to go into depth with these because - well, it's late, and I'm tired, and I still have two-thirds of a paper to write before tomorrow. So, I'll give you summaries and some clips, and maybe I'll write more later.

1. Firefly!
    Possibly my favorite show in existence. I won't explain it too much, because I never manage to do it justice, but in short, it has spaceships and horses and shootouts at corrals and smuggling and heists and heroism and antiheroism and government conspiracies and swearing in Chinese and suspenders and hilarious one-liners and mind-reading and dancing and a preacher with an Afro and horrible cannibalistic crazy men and some of the best damn computer effects I've ever seen on a TV show. If you've seen Serenity, you've gotten a taste, but Firefly is better still. Canceled by the astronomical morons at Fox.

Chain of Command


2. Arrested Development
    Basically, one of the funniest, quirkiest shows in existence. About a guy named Michael Bluth who is possibly the only normal member of the family Bluth, a family which brings a whole new dimension to the term disfunctional. In the pilot, Michael's father, George Bluth, is arrested for embezzlement at his retirement party where he was stepping down as the head of his corporation. Michael is then left to try to hold everything together as the family goes bankrupt, while trying to deal with an alcoholic mother, an arrogant magician older brother (named GOB - caps intentional), a childlike adult younger brother, a snobbish, elitist sister who is separating from her downright weird husband Dr. Tobias Funke (notable achievement: attempting to combine the professions of analyst and therapist, thereby creating the world's first professional analrapist), their rebellious daughter Maeby, and his neglected son who has a crush on her (played by Michael Cera, from Superbad and Juno). This masterpiece of a show was canceled, like Firefly, by Fox, which does not know a good thing when it has got it.

The Bluth family has no idea what a chicken looks/sounds/acts like.


3. Dead Like Me
     The pilot opens with the main character dying. How often does that happen? Furthermore, she dies from being struck by a meteoric toilet seat from space. This is definitely not your everyday show. The main character's name is Georgia "George" Lass (Bryan Fuller must have a thing about giving girls boy nicknames) and after she dies, she 'gets' to become a reaper. Death's civil servant. She works with a group of four other undead, or re-alive, or whatever people whose jobs are to remove the souls from people when they die, and to guide them to the afterlife. They are assigned to the "external influence" division, which basically means people who die from accidents. She has to harvest an unspecified number of souls before she can become truly dead, but meanwhile, in addition to her reaper duties, she has to get a real job and a real life. For a teenage girl, it kinda sucks. Although she is pretty much indestructable now...that's cool. The show has its own unique style of dark humor which manages to actually be funny without being crude. Amazingly, this show was not canceled by Fox, although they probably would have if they'd had the chance. Jerkwads.
Anyway, it was canceled by Showtime and now is occasionally shown on the SciFi channel.

Georgie laments over her house while her other reaper friends have other things on their minds.



Current Shows to Keep an Eye On:
Lost
Heroes
The Office
Ugly Betty
Eureka
Avatar: The Last Airbender  yes I know it's a kid's show. It's still good.
Bones